Totally lost my mucous about 9 o'clock last night.
Despite it being a relatively minor change, and not something that signals imminent labor like say....water breaking. It shouldn't really mean much. BUT! It completely changed my perspective. I was spontaneously smiling through the grocery store. LAUGHING! laughing at Tyler when I got home.
It was such a relief to have some physical confirmation that labor would actually happened. For the first time in two? three? weeks I was excited to meet the baby. Wasn't apathetic towards the tiny outfits in the nursery. Or secretly wondering if a) four was really worth it, maybe i should have just stuck with three..esp if it meant I didn't have to be pregnant any more and b) If i truly would be pregnant forever. It doesn't feel good to think those things. I know I shouldn't, I feel guilty for it. But I just couldnt' get over the feeling that i was just going to continue to deteriorate to infinity, and no baby.
So....whew. I will likely have this baby sometime in the imminent future. Imminent meaning less than two weeks.